The Nut List

Crimes of Typography

Signs of the Apocalypse

Puppypalooza

Rant! Rant! Rant!

 

 

 

This just in from Martha Stewart the all-knowing master of time, space and "Good Things". And I quote "You pee in a can, you eat Pah-khans." Prison has darkened her.

Cashews are NOT NUTS! but instead are seeds. Cashews are encased in a leathery double-shell, between the layers of which is a honey-comb like membrane containing a powerful oil, the same oil found in posion ivy!

Put the can down and step away from the mini bar!
Sure they taste yummy but they are a starter nut. Next thing you know you'll be selling your tree, living in a rotten log, looking for your next fix. Just say no!


From the beginning of time there has been no shortage of idiots. These nuts leave us wondering... Really? Seriously, you're kidding right? No?

FRESH NUTS 2018

Try as we may, we just can't help but get a little political when we go looking for Nut's. We could dedicate a whole site to Donald Trump alone. Instead we have narrowed it down to the ten quotes he's said that would have derailed anyone else's political career.

Donald Trump  In no particular order.
1. HANDS  "My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well documented, are various other parts of my body."
2. VOTERS  "I could stand in the middle of 5th Avenue and shoot somebody and I wouldn't lose voters."
3. WOMAN  "Grab them by the pussy."
4. THE GREAT WALL  "I will build a great, great wall on our southern border, and I will have Mexico pay for that wall. Mark my words."
5. JOHN MCCAIN  "...not a war hero. He's a war hero - he's a war hero 'cause he was captured. I Like people that weren't captured, OK, I hate to tell you."
6. HAITI  "Why are we having all these people from shithole countries come here?"
7. HILLARY  "If Hillary Clinton can't satisfy her husband what makes her think she can satisfy America?"
8. GLOBAL WARMING  "The concept of global warming was created by and for the Chinese in order to make U.S. manufacturing non-competitive."
9. MEGAN KELLY   "You could see there was bloody coming out of her eyes. Blood coming out of her wherever."
10. ENGLISH  Last but not least "Bigly"

HALL OF FAME

Paris Hilton  The Nut Hut was created for this brainless blonde antichrist. Never before has someone celebrated ignorance with such gusto. We, the squirrels here at the Nut Hut urge everyone to boycott Hilton hotels because the thought of a single penny of our hard-earned money going into her pocket makes us throw up a little.
Britney Spears  Pudgy talent free lip sinker with breast implants at age 16. Shaved her head and lost custody of her kids to her back up dancer. Let's just say she won't be caught on the cover of Sanity Fair. She's one of a kind, thank God!
Clan Lohan  More disturbing than Lindsay herself are her wack job parents. The father communicates to his children through the press, and the mother gets a book deal on parenting, while her daughter is in rehab. WTF?
OJ Simpson  So let's get this right. You got away with one of the most publicized murders of the last century and you're still so stupid that you're imprisoned for armed robbery and kidnapping so you could recover sports memorabilia?
Fred Phelps  Best known for picketing marine funerals with "God Hates You" banners. Why, you ask? Because the American military is evil because it defends a country that tolerates homosexuality. The logic gap there is staggering.

 

   

Copyright © 2018 - Robert Brook Allen - A Boy And His Dog